I have spent the last few days of this year thinking about what I want and need out of 2021. And what I want isn’t specifically localized to me – I desire a much larger impact for the world.
Defined by Dictionary.com as “the act or process of regaining health (n)”; and “growing sound; getting well; mending (adj)” …I think we all need at least a little.
Other words for goals to come to mind: Perseverance. Relentlessness. Ferocious. Personal growth. Kick ass.
But I’m ready for everyone to give themselves a little more grace than usual and create a wholeness that is needed to not only feel better, but perform better.
This past year has been – to use a word that has been overused – unprecedented, at least in our lifetimes. If you were alive and could remember 1918, I’m sure you would feel differently. But we have all grown up and existed in a world with minimal (depending, of course, on where you lived politically and geographically) with few restrictions. We could and would go, gather, do, be, start whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted. Go to dinner with friends…take a flight for business or vacation (I don’t know about you, but I always wiped down my seat, armrests, and tray table even before this mess because…ick) …go to a movie…see a concert…go to an amusement park…visit family…these were all everyday things we took for granted (even though we didn’t know we were) without giving it much thought. It was just, you know, the way life is/was.
I’m exhausted. I miss my family. I miss my son. I miss my friends. I miss eating chips and salsa with a blended margarita in the fresh night air. I miss watching movies on the IMAX screen. I miss rollercoasters. I miss Halloween Horror Nights. I miss just grabbing my purse and going out JUST BECAUSE I CAN.
Some of you may be thinking, “it’s your life. Just go do it. Don’t let others tell you what to do.” Well, here’s the rub from my perspective. It’s not just me. Seriously, I’m the least of my worries. I’m pretty healthy, so if I catch it, chances are in my favor of a solid recovery. But not everyone is so lucky. Am I a carrier, and could I pass to someone who could pass it to someone who is compromised? And what are the lasting health effects of this thing? I have no idea on either one. But what I do know is that this is temporary, and I am choosing to put the health and well-being of my fellow man above my selfishness.
Did it impact my business? Uh, yeah, right when I was on the verge of landing some amazing contracts. Oops. I admit my reaction was too slow and I didn’t pivot fast enough. I think I was in shock and, quite frankly, engaged in a bit of a pity party. But hey, I’m human.
Did it impact my ability to return to a corporate job? Again, yeah, it did. I’m still looking. I believe in income diversity/varying income channels…and I’m not only good at running an office and helping executives build and run companies, but I enjoy it. But…you know the story.
Did it impact my mental health? Yes, it did. From my aforementioned professional pity party to feeling like I’m locked in a tower waiting for my prince (that’s another topic for another time) to not being able to hug and kiss my son, family, and friends – like most of you, yes, it’s been tough. I also have no problem admitting that I have struggled with mental health in the past for various reasons, and I’m thankful that I have done enough inner work to recognize when trouble starts to rear its ugly head. And although it was very much antagonized these past few months, it’s been kept in its place.
Did I ever feel like a victim? No. Frustrated, lost, confused, anxious…and even outright ANGRY? Yes. Hence, the temporary pity party. But I always worked to make the best of everything and actually made some AMAZING decisions and changes in my life. I always felt like I was still moving forward, but just in an unexpected and unplanned way. Some would call that a pivot – but I didn’t recognize it at the time.
Again, it’s because I have done and continue to do the inner work that I am where I am now.
And I know I’m not alone. We’ve all struggled on some level. We all need some healing. And it needs to come from not only others, but from within.
From divide. From politics. From difficulties. From struggles. From selfishness and hard-headedness. From denial. From opinions that deny facts and scientific research. From loss.
From alienation of each other, physically, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally.
We (humans are large) have become too quick to criticize, to ridicule, to minimize, and to judge. Many have lost any level of self-awareness that is needed in times of crisis and conflict. Empathy seems to be at an all-time low or even lost for many. Some have lost sight of the fact that their own reality is most likely not the same for someone else (i.e. “hospitals here are almost empty, what are people complaining about?” …yet a few states over, mobile hospitals are being utilized and bodies stored in cooled trailers). Yes, we are all in the struggles together, but we do not all have the same struggles.
I have already started my own healing process, and I can guarantee that it will look different for everyone. Mine started by protecting my energy – both by what I put out into the world, and what I accepted into mind. I started with social media. I admit that during the last few months of the year, I stepped away for a while, and even silenced or blocked a few people and pages – some temporarily, some permanently – for the sake of my own health. Because I can, and because there are no rules except for boundaries I set for myself. This process of healing and energy protection will continue for me each day, until I can wake up without feeling like I need it.
I am aware that the chances of me changing your mind are as equal you changing mine. I can certainly live with that – in fact, I embrace it. The only thing over which I have control (even though I recognize that any sort of ‘control’ is imagined) is myself and my reaction to everything around me. I have come to learn that I am a powerful being (oh, there’s a ton more to come on that). I have a lot to say; I have more to share. I possess energy and influence that I intend to use to bring more light into the world.
Yes, this year has been a struggle on many levels for me personally, both personally and professionally, and I’m ready to start looking forward again.
I need it. We need it. Hello, 2021. Let’s start together.
And then do a little ass-kicking.
So...are you ready to start your healing? Ready to make positive change in your life?
Reach to me today and let's start charting your new course.